Domestic violence is a major concern within the U.S. Individuals who are literally being beaten down (physically, emotionally, or spiritually)—need to stop festering guilt and shame with their negative automatic thoughts/questions—“What did I do wrong?” and “What is wrong with me?” Consequently, these questions fester and can lead to diminished self-value. And, somehow in the madness you may believe you deserved it. Thinking if I had done blank or had not done blank—he would not have slapped, pushed, hit, cursed or choked me! Sadly, all he has to do after making you flat as the floor (physically, emotionally and spiritually) is place his hands on your shoulders, look deeply into your eyes with a begging dog look and say: “I’m sorry. I’ll never do it again. You are the only one I ever loved. I need you!” He may go as far to share a traumatic experience and squeeze out a tear. Then, you fall like a hot rock and drown in the madness!
I just want to scream every time I hear, “He never had anyone to love him! Or, “He just needs someone to love him!” Love him? What about you? How come you have to be the one to “love” him? Whose loving you? Rise up and re-define love!
No one should ever touch anyone in a NON-LOVING manner! Moreover, instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?” you should be asking—“What is wrong with him?” By the renewing of your mind, you can change your world!
Stop trying to fix him because he AIN’T broke! From my perceptions, that love you think you are feeling–is actually “sympathy!” Paradoxically, the real sympathy for him is the sympathy you may be feeling for yourself. Living in a television wonderland, you may think: “If I love (fix) him, maybe it will make me worthy!” Turn Lifetime off! He AIN’T broke and amazingly—you are already worthy–only need to recognize your worth! Cease the madness! Resist domestic violence! Renew your mind and your world will be renewed! Therefore, fellow citizens of human life, it is time to Cease, Resist & Renew!
Dr. Nurse Carole
Note: The male gender was used for the perpetrator but the perpetrator can be male or female. For example, women abuse men; men abuse women; women abuse women; and men abuse men.